And why are they still here? You could be one of the many people asking yourself that question right now. And yes, it’s quite distressing. You’ve got a soft spot for animals. One or two little mice is not going to kill you. And you are not one of those that is scared of a rat. But don’t let that lead you to complacency. Or maybe you have heard the sounds they make at night. You are already too scared to go down there.
You dread what you may find. Never having been down the basement steps for quite a while, you have enough intelligence to know what’s eating your basement. Because as far as you recall, there really isn’t anything edible down there. Or so you thought. Rats and mice being part of the royal rodent family are still intelligent creatures. But they are also greedy little buggers and they’ll eat anything in sight.
They know how to survive as well. Leaving a piece of cheese in a mousetrap at the top of your staircase is definitely not going to help. They are so done with cheese. Wood’s on the menu now. But hark ye! Hear ye! The rodent control westminster co van is coming round the corner. Good bye little buggers! See you like never! But oh crap! (Note to ed. Are we allowed to cuss? Yes, it’s alright. It feels right, given the context of the story)
Here’s a real monster of a problem. You thought rats and mice were bad. Well you ain’t seen or heard nothing quite as bad as this. The federal government ought to declare a national state of emergency. It is that bad. Termites! Everywhere. And they’re a lot hungrier than the rodents.